"And I feel like I'm the worst person in the world. I feel most of all defeated, falling into an abyss, an endless darkness.It is as if there were more round, more salvation. There is no hope and faith enough to believe that all this will pass, that all this will change.Wanting to scream, ask for help and know that I can not because nobody would understand me. Perhaps they had reason, after all I am too weak to say no, to take action and change that reality. But I know the only one who understands me and can help me, is sad to me and I feel ashamed to seek it. After all, he is the one I need right now, the only one who can help me, the only one who can give me hope and salvation. But it is too difficult for me to act as if nothing had happened. I feel like crap, useless one. I hate and disgust me. But this will pass, have to pass. Will change, must change.And only He can help me. And I have to find strength, however difficult it may be, as hard as it is, go back to being all that once was a day, go back to being "clean" back in the arms of Him. But the worst part is that it does not depend on him, any other person. Just myself. What's harder is to see yourself, deny yourself, and to confront. But I'm going to get, got to have. "

                                             Thaís de Paula.